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Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior, by Kerry Patterson Joseph Grenny
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From the Inside Flap
"...revolutionary ideas...opportunities for breakthrough..." -- Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People "...unleash the true potential of a relationship or organization and move it to the next level...."-- Ken Blanchard, coauthor of The One Minute Manager® and The Secret: What Great Leaders Know--and Do "... the most recommended and most effective resource in my library."-- Stacey Allerton Firth, Vice President, Human Resources, Ford of Canada "...brilliant strategies for those difficult discussions at home and in the workplace..."--Soledad O'Brien, cohost of CNN's Morning Edition "This book is the real deal....Read it, underline it, learn from it. It's a gem."-- Mike Murray, VP Human Resources and Administration, Microsoft (retired) NEVER WALK AWAY FROM ANOTHER TOUCHY, CONTROVERSIAL, OR COMPLEX ISSUE--AT WORK OR AT HOME! Behind the problems that routinely plague families, teams, and organizations are individuals who either can't or won't deal with failed promises. Others have broken rules, missed deadlines, or just plain behaved badly. If anybody steps up to the issue, they often do a lousy job and create a whole new set of problems. New research demonstrates that these disappointments aren't just irritating. They're costly—sapping organizational performance by 20-50 percent and accounting for up to 90 percent of divorces. Crucial Confrontations teaches skills drawn from over 20,000 hours of real-life observations to increase confidence in facing tough issues. Learn to: Permanently resolve failed promises and missed deadlines Transform broken rules and bad behaviors into productive accountability Strengthen relationships while solving problems When you learn how to handle crucial confrontations, everything gets better.
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From the Back Cover
"Hey, if you read only one 'management' book this decade...I'd insist that it be Crucial Confrontations."--from the foreword by TOM PETERS "Revolutionary ideas...opportunities for breakthrough..." -- STEPHEN R. COVEY, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People "...unleash the true potential of a relationship or organization and move it to the next level...."-- KEN BLANCHARD, coauthor of The One Minute Manager® and The Secret: What Great Leaders Know--and Do "The most recommended and most effective resource in my library."-- STACEY ALLERTON FIRTH, Vice President, Human Resources, Ford of Canada "Brilliant strategies for those difficult discussions at home and in the workplace..."--SOLEDAD O'BRIEN, cohost of CNN's Morning Edition "This book is the real deal....Read it, underline it, learn from it. It's a gem."-- MIKE MURRAY, VP Human Resources and Administration, Microsoft (retired) NEVER WALK AWAY FROM ANOTHER TOUCHY, CONTROVERSIAL, OR COMPLEX ISSUE--AT WORK OR AT HOME! Behind the problems that routinely plague families, teams, and organizations are individuals who either can't or won't deal with failed promises. Others have broken rules, missed deadlines, or just plain behaved badly. If anybody steps up to the issue, they often do a lousy job and create a whole new set of problems. New research demonstrates that these disappointments aren't just irritating--they're costly--sapping organizational performance by 20 to 50 percent and accounting for up to 90 percent of divorces. Drawn from over 10,000 hours of real-life observations, Crucial Confrontations teaches skills to increase confidence in facing tough issues. Learn to: Permanently resolve failed promises and missed deadlines Transform broken rules and bad behaviors into productive accountability Strengthen relationships while solving problems
Read more
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Product details
Paperback: 284 pages
Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1st edition (August 26, 2004)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780071446525
ISBN-13: 978-0071446525
ASIN: 0071446524
Product Dimensions:
6 x 0.7 x 8.9 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.5 out of 5 stars
156 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#43,972 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Seriously good read. This book is based on extensive research. They followed over 25,000 people over 2 decades in multiple industries to come up with the best practices based on both the good and the bad. It gets 5 stars for a few reasons. First, it's not dry in the least. Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, and Switzler have compiled their methodology in an enlightening and often amusing way. I found myself laughing at their occasionally sarcastic undertones. However, the message was not sarcastic. Second, this book challenges you to find that space between cause and effect and fill it with as much information as possible, while getting yourself in control. The CPR method of content, pattern, and relationship really helps to pull the details of the confrontation into focus. It helps you deliver an effective message to the individual in your crucial confrontation which highlights the "real" issue and seeks a meaningful and effective end to it all. They challenge you to work on yourself first by mastering your story. In short, they tell you that before you go on a rampage and mow down the assailant, you must recognize that there is more to the story. For example, in order to understand the entirety of the situation, one of the many things you must do is to create a safe environment where the individual can open up and explain the rest of the story. This book goes beyond simplistic ideas of how to handle crucial confrontations. It breaks down what you need to do, gives you multiple examples, and emphasizes follow-up. Without follow-up, history is doomed to repeat itself regardless of circumstance. They incorporate the need for motivation, making it easy for the individual in question, staying focused and flexible due to emergent issues, etc. For some, this is common sense. If that is you, we need more people like you. For the majority of us, this is news! The message of this book is only useful if you can follow their advice and move forward with a cool head.Don't read any reviews with negative commentary. This book is necessary for everyone in leadership and management. It is necessary for anyone who deals with other human beings. In short, it takes what confrontation skills you've assimilated over the course of your life and sharpens and adds to them.
In an engaging and entertaining style, the authors trick their readers into learning how to engage in crucial confrontations that enable them to meet their goals and maintain healthy relationships. The authors begin by defining what they mean by crucial confrontations and then teach us what to do before, during, and after them. The book is loaded with stories and dialogues that illustrate each step of a crucial confrontation. The humor sprinkled throughout makes this book not only an informative, but also an enjoyable read.
As a consultant, I must deal with crucial confrontations on a regular basis. The problem has been in my teaching the art of dealing with these confrontations to others. And since teaching is a major part of my profession, my inability to teach this art to others became very frustrating for me. Then I discovered this book. Wow! Yes, there are small sections of the book that belabor points and repeats things, but overall, you cannot go wrong with both reading this book and making your frontline management team read it as well. It is an easy to grasp and understand, well explained, and professional methodology for effectively dealing with issues. If you are in a management or supervisory position at any level, or expect to be, by all means, Read This Book. It is well worth the investment of both your time and money.
Having read both this book and "Crucial Conversations" more than once, let me say that they are both worth reading more than once! In its latest reading, I used this book for a book study at work, guiding my team (I'm their boss) through the book and the lessons in the book. The team had been largely dysfunctional, had serious problems with communication, apparently had no idea of how to deal with confrontations, and might very well have imploded completely. Over the course of a few months, we read this book chapter by chapter (with some breaks), discussed each of the lessons, and started to put them into play.Today, the team communicates far better, has become highly functional, has improved their interpersonal skills, and are a joy to work with.Several of the team said that they were already starting to put some of the things they'd learned into practice in their personal lives, and I can see them applying them at work daily.The lessons that you can glean from this book are HUGE. If you find yourself struggling to have real conversations about issues small and large, if you have a relationship that is in some jeopardy, or if you just want to be more effective in a leadership or teaming role, read these books.For instance, the idea of mastering your stories... what is it that you assume about the motivations of the other person, and how do those assumptions generate feelings which drive YOUR behaviors? Learning about your "stories", how to discuss them with others, and how that affects you could be the start of something wonderful for you.Read these books. Now.
I am a Superintendant for a Class 1 Railroad. Recently I was introduced to Crucial Conversations in a Managment training class. I soon after came home a purchased. As a Manager of many people from all different walks of life, it's a must to be able to communicate effectively while remaining politically correct. While no book has all the answers this one helps you understand how and what to say to a number of different situations. I find my self going back and referencing it to help me through difficult events when dealing with co-workers and subordinates.
This is a book that should be on every (project) managers bookshelf. I give this book away as a participation reward in my management training seminars. The book will help just about anyone develop good strategies for having those confrontational discussions that are absolutely necessary to be an successful manager/leader. This book, and it's companion, "Crucial Conversations" are worth multiple readings.
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